PREMARITAL COUNSELLING AS CORRELATE OF MARITAL STABILITY AMONG CHRISTIAN COUPLES (A CASE STUDY OF OKE-AGBEDE COMMUNITY IN OGUN STATE)
ABSTRACT
This study investigated on Premarital counselling as correlate of marital stability among Christian couples. A total of four churches and 120 couples (orthodox and Pentecostal) were randomly selected with 15 female and 15 male couples from each church as a sample for the administration of questionnaire. Percentage and chi square were used for calculation of the outcome. Four hypotheses were propounded and all were accepted. Hypothesis one is in contrast to the investigation of Olson and Defrain (2005) which observed that failure to plan in life especially in marriage is a calculated plan to fail. Also Jason et al (2009) holds firm in their research work that premarital counseling exhibits a positive correlation with respect to the success of the marriage itself. Hypothesis Two: state that there is no significant relationship between premarital counseling of couples and sexual compatibility was accepted. The implication remain that compatibility in sexual life is not based on the counseling received before marriage but rather on one’s health and emotional stability couple with inherited gene. This proposition was accepted by the research findings of Stalimann (1994) which indicates that lack of interest is sex observed more among women can cause difficulty in satisfaction of sexual desires of partner. Hypothesis Three: Stated that there is no significant relationship between premarital counseling and social economics status of couples was accepted. This is contrary to the assertion of Akinade E. and Suleiman A (2005) who observed that the social study of couples may lead to adequate comfort and a high level of piracy especially in sexual relationship. Hypothesis four: stated that there is significant difference between educational levels of would be couple and premarital counseling was also accepted. This confirms to the educational content or curriculum offered in our higher school of educational learning which covers both martial and sexual education in life and family.
TABLE OF CONTENT
Title Page i
Certification ii
Dedication iii
Acknowledgment iv-vii
Abstract viii-x
CHAPTER ONE
1.1 Background of the Study 1-6
1.2 Statement of the Problem 6-7
1.3 Purpose of the study 7-8
1.4 Significance of the study 8-10
1.5 Research questions 10
1.6 Research Hypotheses 10-11
1.7 Delimitation of the Study 11-12
1.8 Definition of terms 12-13
CHAPTER TWO: LITERATURE REVIEW 14
2.1 The Concept of Premarital Counselling 14-22
2.2 Goals of Premarital Counselling 22-27
2.3 Premarital Counselling Programmes 27-34
2.4 Resources for premarital Counselling 34-38
2.5 The Role of the family to intending couples 38-42
2.6 The Role of the church to intending couples 42-44
2.7 The Effect of premarital counselling 44-46
CHAPTER THREE: RESEARCH METHODOLOGY
3.1 Introduction 47
3.2 Research Design 47
3.3 Population 48
3.4 The Sample and Sampling technique 48
3.5 Instrumentation 49-50
3.6 Administration of Instrument 50-51
3.7 Method of Data Analysis 51
CHAPTER FOUR: PRESENTATION OF DATA AND DISCUSSION OF FINDINGS
4.1 Presentation of Data 52-56
4.2 Testing of Hypothesis 56-62
4.3 Discussion of findings 62-64
CHAPTER FIVE: SUMMARY, CONCLUSION AND RECOMMEDATION
5.1 Summary 65
5.2 Conclusion 65-67
5.3 Recommendations 67-69
5.4 Suggestions for further studies 69
REFERERNCES 70-73
APPENDIXES 74-78
CHAPTER ONE
1.1 THE BACKGROUND OF THE STUDY
The need for premarital counseling in the church is testified to, in part by the church’s history of involvement in this particular area of counseling. The three main groups that have provide most of the premarital counseling in the past include the clergy along with physician and mental health workers (Stalimann 2000). The impetus for premarital counseling in the church would seem to be both sociological-considering the large number of troubled marriages in our society, and theological taking into account the high regard afforded the institution of marriage in the Bible. All things considered, the great potential for continued premarital counseling in the church should cause ministers and other church workers to seriously consider their role in the preparation of their engaged youths for marriage.
Prior to this time, the content of premarital counseling in the church focused largely on the nature and meaning of the wedding rite itself: the Christian meaning of marriage, the practice of Christianity in the home, and the wedding rehearsal (Stalimann, 2000). However, the approach to premarital counseling has come to include instructional counseling, with the focus on problems the couple is likely to encounter (e.g. sexual adjustment, marital roles in-law relationships, religious concerns), and enrichment counseling, with the focus on equipping the couple with particular skills to deal with relationship problems (e.g. conflict resolution and problems solving skills). As a result, the goal of premarital counseling has typically centered on promoting the marital quality of the couples future marriage.
God instilled the institution of marriage in us as humans, not to have it fail, but to have it flourish, intentional marriage education is to prepare intending couples for healthy relationship, and helping them to build a stronger marriage. Premarital counseling is an effective first step to this binding contract, teaching the intending couples communication skills and strengthens the relationship before the tie of marriage takes place.
Intentional pre-marriage preparation has proved to be beneficial helping with communication problems solving skills, and even just preparing the intending couple for what is to come. “In the face of high level of divorce, we must recognize that divorce itself is not our main problems. Rather we face the broad weakening of the idea of martial performance in our society”. Premarital counseling is step needed to drive the concept of marital performance into intending couples’ heads.
From pre-marital counseling, the intending couple can learn whether or not the relationship will work and last into the future. Take for example an engaged young people who has never discussed the want or need for mother-in-law living with them after marriage. In her mind, the woman may not entertain it, but knows nothing about her fiancé’s love and concern for the welfare of his family which entails their coming to live with them. An issue lie this can leads to a broken relationship, but what better time for this conflict to come out than before the permanent binding of marriage occurs?
Premarital counseling does just that whether the intending couple takes a simple premarital test to show where each person is at in the relationship, or they actually go to a counselor or member of a parish, issues such as these can be addressed and discussed before marriage. Either they can be worked out, and the intending couple, in turn, learns conflict management, or they cannot be worked out, and the intending couple sees that marriage is not right for them. Regardless of the outcome, premarital counseling is a source for the strengthening of relationships teaching, intending couples communication skills and helping them address and get through conflict.
Being prepared for this life long commitment is the utmost important step in beginning a marriage, and pre-marital counseling attempts to do just that. Programs such as assessment-based or the rapist -based counseling are effective ways in helping intending couples come to the realization of marital performances, while teaching them lifelong skills necessary for keeping a stable relationship. It even shows a correlation with the decline in the divorce rate. The happiness and strengthen of a marriage is presupposed by the effectiveness of this counseling. This God-instilled idea of marriage deserves to flourish, and every step possible to prepare for this blessing should be taken.
Premarital counseling does prove to be effective to marriage immediately as well as in the long run, stabilizing ties of communication and teaching pertinent concept to the premarital.
1.2 STATEMENT OF THE PROBLEM
The world is a scary place, with divorce rates being roughly 50%, our society is showing less of an ability to maintain a healthy commitment in marriage and signifying that some aspects of marriages needs help failing to prepare is like preparing to fail, can lack of premarital counseling be the consequence for general marriage breakdown in our society? Could this be as a result of church not giving enough orientation to intending couples and on the part of parents, failure to make premarital counseling a standard or the upcoming youths and intending couples? Or the general view of the African society that issues relating to sex is a taboo to be discussed? The centre point of this research work is on premarital counseling as a correlate of premarital stability.
1.3 THE PURPOSE OF THE STUDY
This research work examined the impact of premarital counseling on marriage and family stability among the Christian community in Oke-Agbede, Imeko/Afon Local Government of Ogun State.
It examined the problems of divorce that is on the rise in the place of love, togetherness and joy that should characterize marriage.
It also surveyed on the role of the Churches in premarital counseling and marriage stability most significantly, it elaborated and enlightened Christian on the alarming consequences of lack of premarital counseling and prescribed a lasting solution to the overwhelming problem of marriage instability and divorce.
1.4 SIGNIFICANCE OF THE STUDY
This research investigated the extent at which premarital counseling for intending couple and young youths has affected the stability of marriage and the family at large.
The research work is significant because it unveiled other impediments affecting the marriage life so as to enable us determine the variation or ratio of success to failure in marriages.
It proffered solution to growing youths and intending couples to value, appreciate and above all aspire to go for premarital counseling and on the other hand, it encouraged churches to see the unfailing need for daily investments in the lives of our young children and the intending couples in the area of premarital counseling, as this will strongly enhance marriage stability, bring about less family chaos, less counseling session for disputing families and cause love and affection in homes that will lead to peaceful co-habitation in community and a higher level of productivity in society.
Subsequently, it served as a guide for intending researchers to the end that it will indicate that premarital counseling affects marriage stability.
1.5 RESEARCH QUESTIONS
The following research questions are raised in this study:
- What effect does pre-marital counseling have on the stability of marriage?
- Does marriage stability affect the educational/mortal development of the learners?
- Does failure to attend premarital counseling have any adverse effect on the couples and the family at large?
- Does lack of pre-marital counseling in churches affect Christian couples in later day marriages?
1.6 RESEARCH HYPOTHESES
Based on the identified problems of the study, the following hypotheses were developed:
- There is no significant relationship between premarital counseling and marital stability.
- There is no significant relationship between pre-martial counseling of couples and sexual compatibility.
- There is no significant relationship between premarital counseling and social economics status of couples.
- There is no significant difference between educational levels of would be couple and premarital counseling.
1.7 DELIMITATION OF THE STUDY
This study is purposed to find out the relationship that exist between pre-marital counseling and marital stability. Therefore, this study has been structure to concentrate on some randomly selected churches/Christians in Oke-Agbede community in Imeko Afon local Government area of Ogun state. It is hoped that the finding from this environment can be used to estimate the overall situation in the state.
1.8 OPERATIONAL DEFINITION OF TERMS
For the purpose of clarity, in-depth understanding and misinterpretation of terms, the following words are explained as it is used in this research work.
PRE-MARITAL: This refers to the information relating to sex life, marriage life and family life given to young adults and intending couple before they get married.
MARITAL STABILITY: This does not refer to absence of problems in a marriage, rather it means the ability of the couples to manage and have under control every situation good or bad arising as a result to their living together as husband and wife.
COUNSELLING: This is the preparatory teaching, seminar/workshop organized for youths and intending
couples to pre-inform them on vital issues relating to their sexuality and the married life in general.
INTENDING COUPLES: These are young adults who have after due consideration of diverse factors, consent to get married to one another.
COURTSHIP: This refers to the period between the time of proposal to marry and the actual wedding ceremony.
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